Poem Entry 05.30.23 (Progress/Improvement)

I make progress and improve,

yet I still can’t find my groove,

in life, with others, and with myself,

struggling to talk, to speak, to communicate,

not loud enough, too loud, not clear, too fast, never enough,

around and around my brain spins like a hamster wheel,

Is what I said clear? Does it make sense? Why can’t I be at ease? Why can’t I just react? JUST react…

Responding to others but not really listening, not really hearing them… 

Instead drowned out by the voice inside, echoing my failures, amplifying my insecurities, questioning myself, my worth, my ability to respond,

I try to perform and find my place, 

I try to stay present,

I try to fit in,

I try to find my place in life, with others, and with myself,

But who decides my place? Me or the little boy in my mind?

Sincerely, My Internal Thoughts

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