Poem Entry 06.04.23 (The Best Version of Me Right Now)

I see how I have improved,

Improved in my life, improved in my reactions, improved in my ability to stay present,

Present in my responses and how I listen to others,

Others, like my family, friends, and strangers,

Strangers open up, and I try to listen,

Listen to the way they speak and what they are passionate about,

About what they enjoy and how I relate,

Relate to their life and their interests,

Interests I don’t always align with,

With people I don’t have as much in common with, my body is on guard to protect me from being hurt,

Hurt by judgment, rejection, and fear,

Fear of rejection causes my body to tense up, associating new situations with childhood trauma,

Trauma that I went through for years,

Years of not fitting in, years of struggling to connect, years I believed I was the problem and would never fit in,

In life with other people, feeling like a child around adults, in life socially,

Socially I try to succeed and improve,

Improve my self-worth, my confidence, and my acceptance of who I am,

Am I the best version of myself at this point in my life? 

Life’s too short to dwell on that! 

Sincerely, My Internal Thoughts

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